After a quick lunch with sw today, i make my way to SGH to visit my ah gu..

he had a major operation last thurs to remove "extra" blood clot (our term) in his brain.. was actually some extra nerves in his brain that led to clot, thus mild stroke, which will implicate life..

before i went up to him, he was still smiling and tokin to my aunt.. so i tot everything was fine.. when i went closer to him, i almost freak out.. because the scar was so horrible.. ermm...

there are 2 scars on his head; both used staple-bullet-like to close the wound instead of the tread... its a row of abt 10.. i din really count it.. but can u imagin having staple bullet thr ur skull.. even the tots of it chills my spine.. makin me feel like crying out, but i have to hold back my tears.. he was so healthy and strong, y has he had to underdo such fear and worries.. on the other hand, i keep telling myself that the operation was successful, i should be glad abt it..

can feel that he was trying to put on a brave front.. obviously he was so worry abt his movement.. he was able to lift his left hand and left leg few days ago.. but it turn for worst.. these 3 days, he was unable to do it.. heard from my aunt, he hasnt been slpin well, because of this issue.. den before i left, his physio in-charge came in, so i tot i could stay for awhile to listen to what the physio say abt his condition.. BUT... his physio expression was so... erm... how to say leh.. it jus bring fear into me..

the physio was tryin to understand wat his condition like on his left lower leg muscle.. it was swollen and he felt pain.. den the physio ask for advice from the doc in-charge of the room.. den we were told that this issue will be reflected to his doc who was in chargin of his case.. another waiting time..

wat worried me most, there might be still some bits left in his brain.. which all of us do not hope to hear.. well, i shall speculate anything.. i shall wait for news.. hope the next visit i can see him moving more.. praying hard for him...

another heart breakin ting for me was seeing my aunts rushing here and there.. not only has to take care of their family, but also has to cooked for him.. they look so tired and wear out.. jus the travelling part, they will already feel tired liao.. they did tot of transferring him to TTSH, but the tots was put off..

WAT CAN I DO FOR THEM..???????? i feel so helpless and useless... :(